Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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