I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
