is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
