I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
