It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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