took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
