his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
