At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
