when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have demons in me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
