How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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