just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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