so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
