i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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