i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
