can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I fill condoms, not promises.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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