We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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