Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize