I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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