At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
