I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
