Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize