And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
