3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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