Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
