Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
