sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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