Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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