So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize