dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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