walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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