Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
