maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
