does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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