what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
