Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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