I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
