She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
