You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
