I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize