She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
