real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
