Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize