Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just found puke in my bra..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
