She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The adults are the big ones right?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
