he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
