Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
