he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
