My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
