People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
