so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
