awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
