listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
