that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
