I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
