She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
