Your tits are I can't wait for
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
