Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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