Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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