you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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