? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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