I love black thongs
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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