So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
