Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
