my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
