You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
