Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize