just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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