Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
