i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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